I have just passed my one year post op and I am having mixed feelings about it. I will be meeting with my dietitian, nurse and surgeon this coming Friday and I will likely be discharged from the program which makes me very nervous. Once discharged I will no longer have the support from my medical team which I honestly don’t hardly ever use but it makes me feel secure to know that should I have questions or need support they are there for me.
I have officially reached my goal this morning of 150 lbs and I find myself unsatisfied, maybe another 5 lbs? I tell myself I have come a long way and that I am happy with my weight but the truth is I am really struggling with what I see in the mirror most days. My goal now needs to be to increase muscle mass and decrease body fat % with less focus on the number on the scale, this is a head game I have with myself that is going to take a lot of work to get past.
I have a referral sent to Dr. Mitchell to have my excess skin around my belly removed and maybe once that is done I will finally be happy with myself. I am looking at probably another year before I will get a surgery date for skin removal which I am actually thankful for. I want some time to build more muscle and make sure I am maintaining a good weight before I get the skin removed, also I am terrified. I am terrified of the level of pain from this surgery, the long recovery time and the staples that will have to be removed. Unfortunately it is not an option to not get the surgery as I have already encountered a couple of infections in and around my belly button from the excess skin.
Don’t forget to check out my progress page and the before and after pics!!!
From Fat to Phat! 